Clarity : how to get it, how to keep it & how to use it to balance your life part 11

[Audio] G-E-T more HPA IN YouR D-A-Y Remember, these are the actions, activities or choices that create results that will help you become the person you want to become, or help generate compensation. The top three in each area should be obvious to you; they are probably the frogs (remember chapter five?) that you've been doing everything you can to avoid eating. Take the time to do this exercise, because if you don’t know what your high payback activities are in each key area of life, you will be lost. LOW-PAYBACK ACTIVITIES As important as the high payback activities are, some of the biggest transformations my clients experience, have come from identifying the opposite. They identified their low payback activities, or LPAs. As I’ve already mentioned, these are the activities you need to delegate or eliminate. If you work for somebody else, this can be a little tricky because you must adhere to their agenda and sometimes engage in low payback activities. But in my experience, I have found that the people who excel in organizations are the ones who can focus more on the H-P-A's and delegate or get rid of the L-P-A-s-. Even with the most unreasonable of bosses, it can still be done. What are some examples of LPAs? 1. Doing things other people want you to do. This is their agenda versus your agenda. Meetings are big culprits. Whenever I call a meeting, I always state the goal of the meeting. I often ask this when I attend meetings. I ask that people prepare the 219.

[Audio] CLARITY goal in advance. Then I always ask the bigger question: Is the meeting really necessary? Meetings need to have a goal. You need to have agenda. You need to be prepared and, before scheduling one at all, ask the really important question: Is the meeting necessary? 2. Doing things a certain way because “this is the way we've always done it.” In my consulting work, I’ve found that this causes more L-P-A's than anything else. Due to traditions or habits, people get used to doing things a certain way. In any organization, people tend to take on the culture of that company. Remember, we tend to take on the habits of the people we spend the most time with. These people may say, “Weve always done it this way. Why should we change now?” Well, here’s one of the rules that I’ve implemented in every company I’ve had: When it comes to productivity and the way we do things to create results, if you have a more effective way of doing any of them, speak up. We give people incentives to do this. We make a point of rewarding people who have saved the company money by doing something differently, or revealing an opportunity for a new revenue stream. We compensate them and give them a percentage of the new business. 3. Doing things you are not good at doing. I know what my strengths are. I’m what they call a “rainmaker.” I have a great ability to influence people. I’m very good at identifying problems. I can see problems from a gut, instinctual level. But I’m not the classic “detail person.” For example, I am not good at developing graphics for presenta tions. I delegate that responsibility to the other people on my team 220.

[Audio] G-E-T more HPA IN YouR D-A-Y who are extremely good at this. They can create a W-O-W experience through graphics. I can’t. More accurately, any W-O-W that someone may utter in response to seeing a graphic I created certainly wouldn't be positive. 4. Doing things you don’t enjoy doing. When you don’t enjoy doing something, you won't have your heart in it and you wont do it well. Of course, there will always be things in your work or personal life you don’t enjoy doing. But the more you can decrease them, and the more you can work in your genius, the more productive youre going to be. When you identify specific tasks that youre not good at doing or that you don’t enjoy doing, realize that there is almost assuredly someone in your organization who loves to do them—and is very good at doing them. We're all wired differently, and we all have different interests and different abilities. Your L-P-A is someone else’s HPA. The secret on any team is finding those people, and delegating those L-P-A's that you don’t like doing or don’t do well. Again, the more you can make this happen, the more successful you're going to be. How much IS YouR time worth? Here’s a great exercise I do with my clients: I have them determine the value of their time. Consider that if you make $50000 per year and you work 40 hours a week, you average about $26.04 an hour. If you make $50000 and work 60 hours a week, you make $17.36 an hour. The math here isn’t difficult. Just divide your annual salary by the number of hours you work every year..

[Audio] CALLA Y If you work... | That adds up to... 20 hours a week 960 hours per year 30 hours a week 1440 hours per year 40 hours a week, 1920 hours per year 50 hours a week 2400 hours per year 60 hours a week 2880 hours per year Take your annual salary and divide it by the number of hours worked in a year, and you will come up with your hourly rate. This was an eye opening exercise for me. It gave me a benchmark to make decisions. If you're asked to do something that will generate much less than your typical hourly rate, try to delegate it. One of my employees was making about $125000 a year and working about 50 hours a week. That comes out to $52.08 per hour. I had been recommending for years that he hire an assistant. Why? He was mired in low payback activities; a lot of administrative stuff, scheduling, emails. I said, “You need to hire an assistant and pay them $40000 a year out of your own pocket.” He resisted for almost a year, but finally relented. Within 12 months, he was making $225000 per year. Now, was that investment of delegating his low payback activities to his assistant worth the $40000 a year he paid out? It absolutely was. Once you have this perspective on how you spend your time and how much your time is worth, you have a benchmark to determine if you are doing a low payback activity or not. If you make $150000 a year working 50 hours a week, your rate is $62.50 per hour. If you find yourself doing work you could pay someone $12 an hour to do so.

[Audio] G-E-T more HPA IN YouR D-A-Y you can continue to focus on your high payback activities that would obviously be worth it. Now, you may not be in a position to hire an assistant, but / guarantee you are in a position to get rid of some of your low payback activities. Your time is valuable. The more you understand the value of your time, the more you will understand how important it is to guard it and use it wisely, focusing on H-P-A's in your business and relationships. 223.

[Audio] CHAPTER 10: UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF balance “We come into this world head first and go out feet > first; in between, it is all a matter of balance.’ paul BOESE vacationing American businessman stood on the pier of a quaint Nees fishing village in southern Mexico. He watched as a small boat with a single young Mexican fisherman aboard pulled into the dock. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. Enjoying the warmth of the early afternoon sun, the American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish. “How long did it take you to catch them?” the American casually asked. “Oh, a few hours,” the Mexican fisherman replied. “Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” the American businessman then asked. The Mexican warmly replied, “With this, I have more than enough to support my family’s needs.” The businessman then became serious. “But what do you do with the rest of your time?” 224.

[Audio] UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF balance Responding with a smile, the Mexican fisherman answered, “I sleep late, play with my children, watch ball games and take siestas with my wife. Sometimes in the evenings I take a stroll into the village to see my friends, play the guitar and sing a few songs.” The American businessman impatiently interrupted. “Look, I have an M-B-A from Harvard, and I can help you to be more profitable. You can start by fishing several hours longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra money you can buy a bigger boat. With the additional income that larger boat will bring, before long, you can buy a second boat and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of fishing boats.” Proud of his own sharp thinking, he excitedly elaborated a grand scheme which could bring even bigger profits. “Then, instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you'll be able to sell your fish directly to the processor or even open your own cannery. Eventually you could control the product, processing and distribution. You could leave this tiny coastal village and move to Mexico City or possibly even Los Angeles or New York City where you could expand your enterprise even more.” Having never thought of such things, the Mexican fisherman asked, “But how long will all this take?” After a rapid mental calculation, the Harvard M-B-A pronounced, “Probably about 15 to 20 years, maybe less if you work really hard.” “And then what, sefor?” asked the fisherman. “Why, that’s the best part,” answered the businessman, with a laugh. “When the time is right, you would sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.” 225.

[Audio] CLARITY “Millions? Really? What would I do with it all?” asked the young fisherman in disbelief. The businessman boasted, “Then you could happily retire with all the money youve made. You could move to a quaint coastal fishing village where you could sleep late, play with your grandchildren, watch ball games and take siestas with your wife. You could stroll to the village in the evenings where you could play the guitar and sing with your friends all you want.” “But sefior, I already do that,” the young fisherman replied. “The price of anything is the amount of life you have to exchange for it.” H-E-N-R-Y david THOREAU Over the years, I have worked with thousands of people through my seminars, consulting and speaking. And whenever I ask the question, “What is your greatest challenge in life?” nine times out of ten, it is balancing work with family or home life. I believe this is even more prevalent today. With the down economy, statistics show that more than 50 percent of families are dual income earners. And it makes that balancing act even more difficult. I have found that one of the biggest reasons for lack of balance is simply that people are not intentional about their choices and priori ties, so they tend to let life happen to them instead of taking the time to create clarity, develop a plan and take action to implement it. 226.

[Audio] UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF balance THE CARDINAL My wife and I used to live in an area where a beautiful red cardinal lived. Cardinals are very territorial birds and will fight off intruding birds aggressively. We had just purchased a new car, and I remember coming out in the morning to see the cardinal attacking the mirror, constantly flying away and then flying back into the mirror. What a stupid bird, I thought to myself. His enemy is merely a reflection of himself in the mirror. And then it came to me. You know, we can be our own worst enemy and not realize it. By the choices we make, by the people we associate with, by the habits we practice, we tend to live our life as it happens rather than being intentional on how we want to live life, and that is how we get out of balance. It’s not on purpose. It’s usually by default. The only way to get into balance is to make ita priority, develop a plan—and develop specific action steps to make it happen. What is important to you? Is it your leisure time, career, friends, family, volunteer work, your faith, hobbies or sports? Because we all have different priorities, goals and values, there is no one size fits all to achieving a balanced life. T-H-E balance test Let me give you a quick test to see if your life is in balance. I want you to answer these questions, true or false. 1. I live a healthy lifestyle that helps me feel energized. 2. I have sufficient time to do what I enjoy doing. 3. I am passionate about my work, and find it satisfying and rewarding..

[Audio] CLARITY . Llove the environment I live in (contents and location). . [have quantity and quality time for my family or important relationships. . Teat healthy, nutritious foods that make me feel energized. . I take at least 15 minutes of quiet time each day. . I have clarity on my passion and purpose in life. . I have friends who encourage and support me and whose SOG CO ss le Os company I enjoy. 10. I get six to eight hours of sleep each day. Lie I have no emotional baggage or addictive behaviors. TZ: I focus on my blessings and not my problems. 13: I have activities or hobbies outside of work and family. 14. I do not work on weekends. I am organized and have no clutter in my home, car or en office. 16. I am excited when I wake up to take on the day. I take at least two weeks of vacation per year. Ly. 18. I do not have any people in my life who drain me. es I feel like I am in control of my schedule and my time. 20. I am pursuing what I want in life. one I love my life. So, how did you do? Typically, if you answered 15 or more of these questions true, that indicates you have a reasonably balanced life. If you answered 14 or fewer of these questions true, you have room to.

[Audio] UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF balance improve the balance in your life. The fewer questions you answered true, the more room for improvement you have. Dont get me wrong; there will always be times when certain aspects of your life are out of balance. I remember several years ago when my wife Indy was working on her doctorate. Our lives were basically turned upside down. She was out of balance, and our lives were out of balance because she had to focus so much time, effort and energy on studying and going to class. So there are always going to be difficult times. But here’s what I want you to remember about balance: It’s all about progress, not per fection. It’s about moving from where you are currently and becoming more intentional about creating balance in your life. THE CESARI family values As I’ve mentioned quite a bit in this book, my wife Indy and I have four children. When they were younger, we developed what we called the Cesari Family Values. We developed these with our children and we posted them on our refrigerator. To this day, I still carry a small wallet sized version with me. Your own family values will depend on several factors, including the environment you were brought up in and your own particular beliefs. Here are the values we developed for our family. 1. Let your actions speak for your beliefs. Be sure anything youre doing will glorify God. 2. Respect one another. Be loyal, encouraging, kind, uplifting and positive. 3. Always strive to be honest and truthful in all situations. 229.

[Audio] CLARITY 4. Forgive others, even when you feel they don't deserve it. It’s easy to love people who are loveable. The real trick in life is to love those who aren't very loveable, and forgiveness works the same way. 5. Practice unconditional love. We would always tell our children, “Look, we might not always like or agree with what you are doing, but there is nothing you could ever do that will ever make us stop loving you.” 6. Stand by each others’ side at all times and in all situations. 7. Be humble and God centered, not self centered. 8. Seek to understand the other person before you seek to be understood. Now, again, don’t get me wrong. We're not the perfect family, but we do know what we stand for. And what I have found is, if you don’t know what you stand for, you will fall for anything. Once you have taken time to identify your core values, you are then ready for the next steps. ? EIGHT PRINCIPLES TO ADD balance A parenting How can we begin to bring mission STATEMENT balance to our lives? I’ve Indy and | developed a goal for developed eight concepts and our parenting: principles that I have taught To model and mentor for our over the years. I’ve learned children and their children from other people and my a life dedicated to loving ’ oped osaiein Nevnigeaseunather own experiences that these are unconditionally the best ways to bring balance to your life. 230.

[Audio] UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF balance 1. Clarify and prioritize your values. A value is defined as a principle standard of quality, considered worth while or desired. Values guide our actions, and they are usually a result of our life experiences. When you are clear on your core values, it helps to determine the choices you make and what you say yes to and what you Say no to. Policies are many, principles are few. Policies always change; principles never do. Principles and values become the foundation by which you filter all of the other things that you potentially do in life. Your values become the guidelines that help you make decisions. I have found that people who lack good, strong core values tend to wander through life more than the people who have good, clear values and make their decisions based on them. A litmus test for every decision: Given the values that I stand for, will this action or choice (or relationship, or opportunity, et cetera) help move me closer to the person I want to become, or will it move me farther away? 2. Make sure your goals are in harmony with your core values. If they are not, it can create tension and stress in your life. We've already touched on this in the book, but it’s an extremely important part of developing balance and it bears repeating. Let me give you an example. If it’s important for you to have dinner with your family but it’s also important for you to work late, it will create stress. It will create dissonance. The whole idea behind balance is to have less stress and more time to do the things that are important to you. Being intentional and setting goals that are in line with your core values will help you reduce stress and stay focused on those things that are really important to you. 231.

[Audio] CLARITY 3. Manage your time. Or someone else will. When you don’t have clarity on what your purpose is or what your goals are, you will tend to let everyone and anyone take up your time. And that’s a recipe for imbalance. When I ask my clients what their priorities are in life, it usually goes something like this: Faith or God, family or spouse, and then work. My next question is the eye opener. I ask, “Well, how much time do you actually spend in each of those areas on a given day?” Now, I know we have an obligation to work a certain amount of hours. That’s reality. But are you really managing your time based on your most important priorities in life? I’ve personally found that the biggest regret most people have is that they didn’t spend enough time with those who meant the most to them: Their wife or husband, their children, or other family members. Many people who have been extremely successful from a worldly per spective leave a trail of broken relationships behind them. To be truly successful, you must make certain that you're devoting time to the people and things that are most important to you. In order to do that, you're frequently going to be forced to say no to some very good opportunities. I used to say yes to everybody who asked me for my time. Yes, I will meet you. Yes, I will go to that event. Yes, I will participate in that fundraiser. Yes, I will be happy to meet with your son or your daughter. I felt like I was supposed to give my time to anybody who asked. I thought that I was being polite. But I found that as I started saying no, it gave me the opportunity to say yes to the right things—the things that were congruent with my values, and my passion and purpose in life. 232.

[Audio] UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF balance STEFAN My friend Stefan is 37 years old. He works four and a half days a week in the financial What'S most IMPORTANT service industry and he is TO You? IN What ORDER? usually finished with work by Sit down and rank the things 3 p.m. He works hard and he that are most important to you, earns a great living. He plays whatever they are. In my life, the hard, and he spends lots of ranking goes like this: God, my wife, time with his family. my children, then my business and then exercising. So | try to schedule How much time? my time around all of those things, He takes ten weeks of and | am intentional about putting vacation a year. those things on my calendar and my organizer. Ten weeks. Right now, take the time to help Thats two and a half balance your life by scheduling months, or almost 25 percent time to do those things that are of the year. most important to you. Schedule a You may be. saying, date night once a week with your “Well, Steve, that sounds spouse. Schedule a time to write great. Stefan owns his own a letter or call a friend. Schedule company.” time to take a trip with your family. He doesn’t. Stefan works for a company. He came up with a formula that allows him to work very hard, creating the results he needs to create for his employer, and then spend the extra time with his family. He presented the plan to his boss and convinced his boss to give it a try..

[Audio] CLARITY Stefan is a devoted dad and devoted husband. He could work longer hours and make a lot more money. But he has clear priorities and goals. To him, it’s more important to spend time with his family, to take vacations, than it is to make more money. As Stefan says, “I work harder than anyone else when I am at work, and I give honest, sincere appreciation to those who deserve it, beginning with my family.” 4. Maintain a high energy lifestyle. I spoke in detail about this in chapter one, but it’s a critical part of living in balance. Having a high energy lifestyle is really the key to being able to do everything else you want to accomplish. If you're run down, or sick, you can’t hope to have a balanced life. 5. Don’t should on yourself. If you are like me, you sometimes look back on life and.say to yourself, “I should have done this, I should have done that.” Cut yourself some slack. One of the worst things you can do is to go through life feeling guilty. You need to understand your limitations and be realistic. I have come to realize that I am not perfect, and there are no perfect people. So I don’t expect perfect outcomes for everything I do. Remember, we are looking for progress, not perfection. I used to spend a lot of time comparing myself to other people. If only I had Ais job. If only I came from Ais family. If only, if only, if only. When I stopped comparing myself to everyone else and began to build confidence in myself and my abilities, I didn’t have the time or desire to compare myself anymore. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else because there is no one else like you..

[Audio] UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF balance When I’m at my seminars, I will sometimes ask everyone to look at their hand and specifically at their fingers. I then remind them that there is no one else in this world that has the same fingerprints as them. They are unique, one of a kind. And each one of them has unique gifts and talents that will impact the world in a way that only they can. There is no other you, so cut yourself some slack. Stop shoulding on yourself and start living the life that only you can live. 6. Live in the present. ‘There’s a great book entitled The Present by Spencer Johnson, M D that gives these three tips: 1. Be in the present. When you want to be happier and more successful, focus on what is right now. Respond to what is important now. 2. Learn from the past. When you want to make the present better than the past, look at what happened in the past. Learn something valuable from it. Do things differently in the present. 3. Plan for the future. When you want to make the future better for the present, see what a wonderful future would look like. Make plans to help it happen and then put your plan into action in the present. Stay in the moment. Today is the only thing that we have to work with. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Yesterday is gone. So stay with the present and deal with what's important now. 235.

[Audio] CARR AOR 7. Turn off the TV. Or at least turn it on a little less often. This is probably going to be one of the toughest ones to tackle. I like television. I have certain shows that I watch faithfully. But it’s selective watching. And as I’ve mentioned, my wife and I were very intentional with our children when it came to the TV. We required that they did an hour of reading before they could watch a half hour of TV. Why? It’s all too easy 9 to overdose on TV. In fact, 3 in a three month period in 2010, Nielsen reported that HAVE A BLACKBERRY? the average American televi | do. | typically turn my Black Berry off at 6:00 p.m. unless | have sion viewer watched more than 151 hours of television pre arranged a phone call. That's per month, an all time high, when it’s time to be with my family. up from more than 145 hours | turn it off so | don't see the red during the same period in email blinking telling me that | 2009. have a text and or an email. / turn it off. Have | missed many “emer This doesn’t count gencies?” No. If people need to the additional screen time reach me after hours, they can call on computers and other me on my home phone number— handheld devices. Nielsen and | find many people are more also found that Americans reluctant to do that then they are are watching more videos on to just speed dial you on their cell their cell phones. at 8 p.m. So there are far fewer emergencies. If you just turn off the television, you will gain five hours per day. What could you do with those five hours? 236.

[Audio] UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF balance If you just cut down by half the amount of TV that the average family watches, that will give you two and a half hours a day. Two and a half hours to interact with your loved ones. Two and a half hours to give back to your community. Two and a half hours to exercise. Two and a half hours to read a book. 8. Be creative. “Think outside the box,” as the cliché goes. Think outside the box in your work and also in your personal life. Nothing takes the excitement out of life as much as getting stuck in the same routine. Do something out of the ordinary to avoid the well worn routines of your life. Try a new route to work, a new radio station. Break out of your mold occa sionally. If you're a runner, try something different. Try cycling. Try swimming. Try anything different. If your spouse usually plans dates and vacations, shake it up and do this yourself and try something new. Read a good book on intimacy. Travel someplace you've never traveled before. Try painting or writing or photography. Meet new people. It’s important to socialize. Your employer expects you to be vibrant and enthusiastic and healthy. Your friends want you to go to ball games and block parties and volunteer to build a habitat house. To keep your life balanced you need to meet new people and exercise your wit, your wisdom, your humor and your charm. They say the only difference between who you are today and who you will be five years from now will come from the people you meet and the books you read. Are you choosing both with any sense of purpose? Spend time around other people who can help you think of new, creative ways to put spice in your life and to put some pep in your step and to help you.

[Audio] CLARITY be more energized at work, at home and in the community. You can do it. You have the ability. You just have to be intentional about it. Be creative at work. There are so many people who operate a virtual corporation right now. In fact, part of my company is virtual. I have some of the best people in the country working for me, but they're not on my payroll. They just work with me on specific projects. I spend about 25 percent of my time speaking, 50 percent consulting and the other 25 percent developing products. Most of the consulting is done by my virtual staff. I have one independent contractor in particular who has a demanding personal life. She’s married. She has young children. And she can only work between the hours of 9:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. But you know what? We got creative, and she got creative. We work around her family schedule and allow her the flexibility to work from home when it is convenient for her. And she is one of the best associates I have ever worked with. She’s very good at what she does—and this is one huge reason why I took efforts to allow the arrangement to work. She works about 15 hours a week, and our clients love it. She loves it. And ultimately it works well for the business. That’s a win win win. Remember those? So get creative. There are ways to create the margin you need. You don't have to do the nine to five thing every day. There are always ways to overcome challenges on a personal and business level if you'll just look for innovative solutions. What creative solution to a big problem is right under your nose, right now? It's there. You just need to see it. And bring it to life..

[Audio] EPILOGUE leave (I-T ) ALL ON THE course “It is not enough to do your best; you must know what you want to do and then do your best.” pes four smart, hardworking children, and I’m proud of all of them. But I want to close this book with a story about my youngest daughter, Whitney. When Whitney was in high school, she was the captain of the lacrosse team and captain of the cross country team. She wasn’t your prototypical cross country runner. Whitney was 5’8” and weighed 150 pounds. Most of the girls who were very good at cross country running were much shorter than her and weighed 110 pounds. They were much faster than Whitney, but she always trained hard and kept her times in the top ten on a team that usually won the state. During her senior year, Whitney was preparing for a big meet. She said to me, “Dad, I want to break my personal best.” Her personal best for this particular run was about 23.5 minutes. To put this time in perspective, the girls that usually won these meets had running times under 18 minutes for this course. But Whitney’s 239.

[Audio] 101 ASRale y goal was to beat her own personal record, and run the course in under 23 minutes. The big meet was held at Berry College in Rome, Georgia. Perhaps eight or ten high schools participated, and hundreds of people attended it. Now, in case you've never watched a massive cross country running meet, I’ll tell you that you don’t get to see a heck of a lot. From a short distance, you typically see the runners start, and then you see them finish. During Whitney's event, my wife Indy and I made our way to a spot near the finish line, so we could wait to catch sight of our daughter. The fastest runners soon came into sight, and began crossing the finishing line in packs of eight and ten. At about the 22-minute mark, we finally saw Whitney coming down the final stretch. I’ll never forget seeing her come into view. She was clearly fighting the clock, knowing that she was approaching 23 minutes. She was running her heart out. When she crossed the finish line, she collapsed and passed out. Panicking, my wife and I fought to get to her, but there was a massive crowd of people slowing us down. In the few moments while we were fighting our way through, we lost sight of Whitney and she disappeared. She had quickly been taken off the course, to the medical tent. When we learned this, we found the medical tent as quickly as we could; though fighting the crowd still took several minutes. When we walked into the medical tent, we spotted Whitney lying on a stretcher. She was conscious, thank God. She was packed in ice, with a moist towel on her head. I knelt down next to her and took her hand. It didn’t cross my mind at that moment, since I was so concerned for her, but she had done it. She had beaten her personal best. Lying there, she knew she had 240.