Dealing with Abandonment

[Virtual Presenter] “Welcome, I’m so glad you’re here. My name is Margie Wilson, and this message comes from both my personal story and the work I do helping others heal. Tonight is not just information—it’s an invitation. An invitation to understand what may have been shaping your life… without you even realizing it. And more importantly… to begin healing.”.

[Audio] "If you've ever felt like: people leave you have to handle everything on your own or something just feels off in relationships You are not alone. Many people are living with the effects of abandonment and don't even recognize it. Tonight is about bringing that into the light. Because what stays hidden… keeps control.".

[Audio] "When we hear the word abandonment, we often think of someone physically leaving. But abandonment is often much quieter. It can look like: not being comforted not being understood not being emotionally available And for many of us… it started very early.".

[Audio] Speaker Notes: "This matters because abandonment doesn't stay in the past. It affects: how you trust how you respond to conflict how you see yourself and even how you experience God If you've ever thought, 'Why do I react this way?'… 👉 This may be why.".

[Audio] "Abandonment shows up in different forms. And sometimes we only recognize one… when we've actually experienced several. Take a moment as you look at these— 👉 which ones stand out to you?" How does it fit into your story? Allow time for sharing stories: this is a safe space, maybe you have never verbally stated what happened to you as abandonment. Take 2-3 mins to share your story.

[Audio] "Here's something important: Abandonment is not always about intentional harm. Sometimes it's: overwhelmed parents broken systems unmet needs But even when it wasn't intentional… 👉 The impact is still real." We just heard about: paraphrasing some of the stories, making them different causes.

[Audio] "This is where it becomes personal. You may see yourself here: people-pleasing fear of rejection pulling away from relationships trying to stay in control These are not personality flaws. 👉 They are learned responses." In your work book on two green sheets is a worksheet about finding the root. We are going to take a 10 min break. If you can answer some of the questions and we will talk about it when we are done.

[Audio] Lets take a break for 10 mins.. 10 Minute Break.

[Audio] "Over time, we begin to believe things like: 'I'm not enough' 'I'll be abandoned' 'I have to earn love' And here's the truth… 👉 You didn't choose those beliefs 👉 They were formed through experience".

[Audio] "But God's truth is different. And this is where healing begins. Not by ignoring what happened… But by replacing the lie with truth. And sometimes that feels uncomfortable— because we've believed the lie for so long.".

[Audio] "Triggers are often misunderstood. They're not weakness. They are signals. They're your body remembering something your mind may not fully process.".

[Audio] "This is one of the most important tools in your workbook. When something feels 'big' emotionally… Ask: What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What does this remind me of? 👉 This is how you move from reaction to awareness.".

Trigger Mapping. Key Components of Trigger Mapping Identify Triggers: Document people, places, conversations, dates, or situations that cause distress. Label Emotions: Identify the underlying emotion (e.g., anger, fear, shame). Intensity Rating: Rate the strength of the reaction on a scale Response Analysis: Note your automatic reaction (fight, flight, freeze). Develop Coping Strategies: Create a plan to respond differently next time. Common Categories for Mapping People: Individuals who downplay experiences, or specific individuals involved in past conflict. Situations: High-stress scenarios like legal battles, parenting, or performance reviews. Sights/Sounds/Smells: Sensory inputs that evoke past traumas or stressful times. Common Trigger Response Patterns Fight: Becoming argumentative, defensive, or aggressive. Flight: Withdrawing, avoiding, or physically leaving. Freeze: Feeling paralyzed, numb, or unable to act Benefits of Trigger Mapping Increased Self-Awareness: Recognizing early signs of activation, such as physical tension or emotional heat. Pattern Recognition: Identifying recurring themes that suggest deeper emotional scripts, such as abandonment or inadequacy. Proactive Management: Developing proactive strategies instead of reacting instantly. Steps for Effective Mapping Name the Trigger: Clearly identify what happened, who was involved, and what was said. Pause and Breathe: Do not act immediately when triggered. Trace the Connection: Identify if this reminds you of past experiences. Create a Plan: Decide on a healthier, conscious response.

[Audio] "I want you to take this seriously—even if just for a moment. Ask yourself: When did I first feel this way? Because many of your present reactions… 👉 are connected to past moments." (Pause 5–10 seconds if live).

[Audio] Speaker Notes (SAY THIS SLOWLY): "I want you to hear this clearly: 👉 Where you came from is not where you have to stay. Your past shaped you… But it does not get to define your future.".

[Audio] Survival mode is not who she is — it's what she learned to do. And God's presence is still behind her, waiting for her to feel safe enough to turn. "You learned how to survive. And that matters. But survival mode can look like: shutting down controlling everything avoiding connection 👉 It helped you then 👉 but it may be limiting you now".

[Audio] "What you've done tonight is powerful. You've: recognized something put words to it and taken the first step And that's where healing starts.".

[Audio] "What's next isn't about pressure — it's about stepping into the light God is already shining.".

[Audio] "This is why I created the full workshop. Because this— what we did tonight— is just the beginning. In the workshop, I walk you through: how to break these patterns how to rebuild your identity and how to move out of survival mode".

[Audio] "If this spoke to you… Don't stop here. 👉 Take the next step. Join me in the full workshop. Because healing doesn't happen by accident— it happens with intention.".

[Audio] 🎤🙏 Spoken Closing Prayer (Speak slowly. Pause where you feel it.) Lord… We come to You right now… just as we are. Not fixed. Not finished. But willing. Thank You for meeting us here tonight… in the truth… in the honesty… and even in the places that were hard to look at. Because You were there. You were there in the moments we felt unseen… You were there when we felt unheard… You were there when we felt left behind. Even when we didn't know it… You never left. (pause) Lord, tonight we've named something. We've seen it. We've recognized the places where abandonment has shaped us— the thoughts… the reactions… the beliefs we didn't even realize we were carrying. And God, we bring all of that to You now. Not with shame… but with surrender. (pause) We release the lies. The lie that says we're not enough… The lie that says we have to earn love… The lie that says we'll always be left. We let those go. And we make room for Your truth. (slower) That we are chosen. That we are loved. That we are not alone. And that You… have been with us all along. (pause) Lord, begin to heal what we cannot heal on our own. Gently… patiently… deeply. Restore the places in us that still feel broken. Teach our hearts what it feels like to be safe. Teach our minds how to rest. Teach our spirits how to trust again. (pause) And God, give us courage for what comes next. Because this is not the end. This is the beginning. The beginning of healing. The beginning of freedom. The beginning of a new story. (stronger tone) We are not where we used to be. And we are not going back. You are leading us forward. Forward into truth. Forward into healing. Forward into the life You have for us. (pause, softer) Remind us, Lord… Our past does not define us. Our wounds do not disqualify us. And our story… is not over. (final, steady) We trust You with what we've uncovered. We trust You with what we're becoming. And we trust You with what is ahead. In Jesus' name… Amen..